Changing My Mind
Ten leadership beliefs I no longer hold
I reckon we all like to see ourselves as having a growth mindset. What is less comfortable is recognising how easily we can be influenced or maybe even how rarely we actually let go of some beliefs once they are formed. Conviction has a habit of hardening into identity. What you believe quickly becomes who you are.
I remember hearing Sam Harris argue that if you had the exact same genes and environment as Adolf Hitler, you would have acted exactly as he did. It is an uncomfortable thought, but a useful one. It suggests that beliefs and behaviour are shaped far more by prior conditions than by independent choice. I suppose no one goes out with a decision to actually believe something they currently don’t.
Therefore, changing your mind is more of an identity shift than a deliberate intellectual act.
I have always liked John Maynard Keynes’ line, “When the facts change, I change my mind. What do you do, sir?”. I know I’ve changed my mind on a few things over the last year or two. I have definitely had some clear shifts in how I think about life, my work and about leadership in particular. Some of these changes were forced by the experiences of doing my job. Others arrived more quietly through studying, reading and watching what actually works.
Here are ten things I have relatively recently changed my mind on, in a professional capacity:
Leadership is about restraint
Meetings are not where thinking should happen
Authority does not come from position
Being busy is not evidence of impact
Pushing harder does not raise standards
Coaching scales better than telling
Not everything needs fixing
Consistency beats charisma
Career progression is not meritocratic
Changing your mind is not weakness
1. Leadership is about restraint
I used to believe leaders were the ones who came up with the ideas. Or at least that leadership meant seeing things clearly and articulating them well. If the idea was strong and the logic sound, alignment would follow. When it did not, I assumed others needed more convincing. I remember feeling frustrated when something did not land.
I am reminded of Mandela’s description of his father, the chief. He listened to everyone first and always spoke last. Others talked themselves into clarity while he absorbed the full picture. When he finally spoke, it carried weight because it was informed, measured and decisive.
Leadership, I have learned, is not about intellectual dominance. It is about restraint. The clearest leader in the room is often the one who says the least, or speaks last.
2. Meetings are not where thinking should happen
I used to believe meetings were the place where good leadership would be on display. Live debate, sharp thinking, decisions made in the room. If something stalled, it meant the discussion had not gone far enough, and maybe needed to be returned to another day.
I have changed my mind. Most meetings fail before they begin. People arrive cold, defensive or underprepared. Positions harden in public. What looks like thinking is often just performance. The louder voices dominate, not the best judgement.
I now believe the real work happens before the meeting. Pre-wiring matters. Quiet conversations, drafts shared early, pressure-tested thinking done one-to-one. By the time people enter the room, the decision should already be clear. The meeting is the final click, not the workshop.
3. Authority does not come from position
It is probably normal to assume authority comes with the job. If you have the title, are fair, and generally know what you are doing, people will follow.
That has not been my experience. Authority is not something you are given. It is something people allow you to have. It builds slowly through patterns. Do you show up? Do you follow through? Are you predictable in the right ways?
The leaders I see with the most trust now are rarely the loudest or most senior. They are the ones whose word carries weight because it usually turns out to be true.
4. Being busy is not evidence of impact
Like most, our school is busy. I am often too busy. For a long time, I took that as a sign I was making progress. A full calendar, constant movement, endless emails, always being needed. It felt like contribution.
I do not see it that way anymore. Busyness is a poor proxy for value. Activity can be a form of avoidance. Noise often hides the fact that priorities are not clear.
Impact comes from leverage. Fewer actions, chosen deliberately and followed through properly. Knowing what to stop before you start matters. Clear systems, solid implementation and restraint matter. Real leadership often looks quieter than I once expected it to.
5. Pushing harder does not raise standards
I used to believe standards rose through pressure. Tight deadlines, firmer messages, more follow-up. If something mattered, it needed more attention.
I see now that pressure without clarity creates compliance, not excellence. It narrows thinking and drains energy. More importantly, it assumes poor intent, which is rarely the case.
Standards rise when expectations are clear, routines are shared and relationships are strong. Calm insistence, held consistently, does more than pressure ever could.
6. Coaching scales better than telling
I still default to advice more often than I would like. It is quicker and it feels helpful. I know the answer, I solve the problem and move on.
I have changed my mind about what that creates. Telling builds dependence. Coaching, through questions and pause, builds judgement. One creates speed in the moment. The other scales.
Asking better questions takes longer upfront but pays back later. Fewer bottlenecks. Stronger leadership around you. Less coming back to your desk. I believe this, even though I am still some distance from fully living it and often kick myself for having solved an issue for someone.
7. Not everything needs fixing
Earlier in my senior career, I intervened everywhere. Gaps, missing or broken systems, inconsistencies, rough edges. I felt responsible for all of it, often because it was pointed out to me by others (see point 6!).
I am more selective now. Some things resolve themselves with time. Some things belong to others. Some things are not worth the cost of intervention.
Attention is finite. Leadership is as much about what you leave alone as what you step into. This has been a hard lesson, but an important part of my growth.
8. Consistency beats charisma
I used to admire charismatic leaders and if I am honest, tried to be one. Big presence, strong delivery, rooms that lifted when they spoke.
Over time, I have come to value something else more. Consistency. The leader who shows up in the same way on a quiet Tuesday as they do on a big day or in a crisis.
Presence and performance still matter. They are part of the job. But they are only respected when they sit on top of consistency. Without that, they do not last.
9. Career progression is not meritocratic
Many of us believe good work will be noticed. That performance alone will be enough to progress.
That is still partly true, but I no longer fully believe it. Progression also depends on timing, narrative, fit, sponsorship and context. Sometimes you are excellent at the wrong moment.
This is not cynical. It is realistic. Understanding the system is part of leadership, not a betrayal of it.
10. Changing your mind is not weakness
I used to defend past decisions. Admitting a shift felt like inconsistency or a loss of credibility. My wife would say I still do this outside of work.
I see it differently now. Changing your mind in response to better information is a leadership skill. Stubbornness dressed up as conviction helps no one.
I am less certain than I used to be, and that feels like progress.